Women Blogging

No offense, but women are irrational, and men are not. Also women are immature, and men are not.

No, we are not immature
Hey, I said we aren't immature...
Men are NOT IMMATURE!!
Guaaah! *
You're immature, you are!! You're just a stupid GIRL!



As I was saying, there has been a recent influx of women bloggers as of late (I am of course speaking of the two that I know of) and I'm not sure what I think about it.

Actually, one of them is my fiancee, so I'm not even sure what I'm ALLOWED to think about it. I'll go ask her...hang on...


...



...


...Okay, it turns out that women blogging is actually not only acceptable but really cool and possibly even more entertaining than men blogging.

Now that we have that settled, let's talk about some estrogen-filled woman being vice presid--oh hang on... "what molly?"

Okay, men. It seems that that's good also...



*I'm not sure how this particular interjection is pronounced; probably something like "Guahhh!" with the main inflection coming from the back of the throat


CHECK OUT MOLLY'S BLOG EVERYONE! http://mrsbrickley.blogspot.com/

Funny stuff I found

Here are some funny answering machine message recordings I found. If you are offended by any of them, remember that I am not the one who suggested them to you.
Ted, George's recording is the one I figured we would be most likely to try.

If you want to skip right to the best part, read the Psychiatric Hotline answering machine
And since I went to Dusty Meadows today, I now know how to help you get to the site with all the stuff I have been talking about.
You just click

HERE!!!!!!!!!


omygosh I think it worked...

Stephen, not Steeivin

I'll say one thing for him, He's got a way with the lady.

Lady Luck, that is
Stephen emailed me this yesterday:

Dear Tyler,

Everyone has been saying that I am the unluckiest person in the world lately.

However, when I googled 'world's unluckiest people' to verify that fact, my monitor fried and sparks shot out everywhere, which wouldn't have been a big deal if it weren't for the gas pump at quicktrip malfunctioning earlier that day, leaving me covered in gasoline. Naturally, my shirt burst into flames and since as you know I wear shirts that are way too tight I couldn't get it off so I decided to jump in the shower, which was hilarious because it turns out I hadn't paid my water bill for a few months--After I had a good chuckle about that unfortunate irony, I ran outside to roll in the dirt by the highway. That I think definitely proved that I do have some luck, because when the tanker semi carrying a load of water swerved off the highway to avoid hitting me, it spilled just enough water on me to put out my shirt before it, in turn, crashed into the ditch in a twisted heap of metal and flames.

Me, the world's unluckiest person?
Absolutely not...


Just ask the truck driver.

Kisses,
Stephen,
NOT STEV#&*$EN!!

Engagement

Which stage of life is better: Singleness, engagement, or marriage?*
I am not sure whether or not marriage is better than singleness (since I'm neither married nor single), but I do know that engagement is rough.
Engagement; to be committed out of singleness and into marriage, but to enjoy the benefits of neither.

You think all I'm talking about is sex

Wrong.

"Marriage is about way more than just sex,"
- Forrest Hett, married 07
To me the "benefits of marriage" encompass a wide variety of things...glorious, sweet things that are so wonderful I can't even imagine them.
As soon as some come to mind that trump the afore-mentioned benefit, I'll let you know.



*Answer: Whichever involves a Chocolate malt.

Of Golf and Men

Golf is the greatest games ever played, which would be a great movie title. If I wasn't such an amazing writer I'll bet I could get paid to come up with original movie ideas--or maybe inventions. I once invented electricity.

Ok, not exactly.

I once invented a specific use of electricity which involved a circular saw and a pulley system...many deaths

Writing about inventions always makes me think about golf, because I invented a movie about golf once. Golf, like me, is simply complex; and open to the general public, but there the similarities end.
The game of golf also reminds me of handling money--it's a simple concept that nearly everyone tries but at which only a select few are proficient. They are also similar in that playing golf costs money. So it could be said that money and golf are indirectly proportional. The stewardship and maintenance of the one leads to the depreciation of the other, and vice versa.

Wow, that's brilliant.

I don't even know what point I was trying to make, I just maxed out my brain coming up with that last thesis
I need to go watch a good movie to unwind, anyone know of any movies about the greatest game ever played?

Snake in the grass

Before you get any farther, I should warn you that the title of this entry is not literary; it is literal. It is time someone spoke up for snakes, and I think I am the only person who cares enough/has enough time to do it (besides maybe Ted Kriwiel).

I like snakes

Yes, they slither; but this fact alone does not qualify them as the world's most disgusting animal. In fact, as far as relativity is concerned, slithering could be said to be a much more positive mode of transportation than creeping.

Spiders creep.

I'm sure by now I have adequately convinced you that spiders are the most disgusting animals in the world. Unfortunately, you are wasting your time because spiders are not actually animals; but I digress...

There is a girl I know named Allison who is probably the human being most like a snake in the world, certainly in my large sphere of social awareness (which includes Leon). Although not in actual looks--in spite of her slender appearance--her personality and mannerisms are inherently snakelike.
e.g.,
Snakes for the most part mind their own business, unless they are crossed, then they turn into coiled balls of vociferous fury. Allison exhibits similar characteristics. In fact, she very much resembles a snake in the way she stalks her prey--innocent, unsuspecting men. She watches them on facebook and around her church, unbeknownst to them, just waiting on the perfect moment to strike. She hasn't struck yet, but when she does I'm sure it will be a lethal blow to the man's heart.

I'm just glad she doesn't remind me of a spider...

Passed

The past is a ruthless companion.
Everyone has a past. A person who denies having a past would probably have an easier time denying the dna that makes them an individual. No one is completely satisfied with their past; there is always something that we would change. The problem with pasts, though, is that they are not realities in the present. Now replaces then, then is history.
So why can't we shake the past?
Answer: we can
The past is something that is only carried by Christians voluntarily, for Christ took all of our pasts upon himself and personally cast them into the infinite ocean of his Father's mercy and grace. When we are in Christ, he is our Alpha; we don't have a past.
Too often we paralyze ourselves by voluntarily chaining the heavy burden of past memories, guilt, or insecurity to our hands (which makes the work of our hands much less effective) and go dragging along with life, wondering why our lives seem to weigh so much.
The past is passed, it is no more real than a dream we can't remember. Why work to keep up punishment that is not only unnecessary but also imaginary? Praise God for grace, which equips us with the power to get past our past.