Hick Tales (part one)

Someone asked me what I do for a living the other day...

I am a singer/server at the Prairie Rose Chuckwagon Supper dinner theatre, prairierosechuckwagon.com.
I get paid to tell jokes, wear tight-fitting flowery outfits, and sing old-fashioned cowboy songs to old people; basically Dolly Parton and I have the same job. During the sightseeing part of the evening, I make popcorn in one of the theaters, which usually involves five to ten seconds of small talk. Sometimes I say, "Is this your first time out here?" Most of the time, however, it is started by an older person coming up to me as the Hopalong Cassidy movie plays in the background (Call of the Prairie, copyright 1927 running time 66 min). "Boy, I used to watch these when I was a kid." Always the same comment.
Just once I'd like somebody to shake things up a little bit. It would be so much better if someone walked up to me and said, "Boy, these movies sure are stupid. Here's five hundred dollars."
Last month I was sitting by the popcorn stand when an old man with a heavy texas accent walked up to have this conversation with me:

Tyler: Would you like some popcorn?
Old man: No...

(five second pause)

Old man: I used to watch these when I was a kid.
Tyler: Of course

(ten second pause)

Old man: Do you know who Chuck Johnson is?
Tyler: No sir
Old man: Oh, well he has a ranch in Oklahoma

Tyler: ...

Old man: It's a horse ranch, I saw Hoppy's horse and it reminded me of it.

Tyler: Oh, right...horses

Old man: Figured you might know him

Conversations like that happen all the time. I can especially relate to the scene in Barnyard where the old farmer says, "Itsaceowfarm, therzgonnabeceowsoutside," because unintelligible farmer is the dialect of most of the clientele that I deal with